Which Beliefs Drive You? Harnessing Empowering Beliefs to Reach your Goals.

Which Beliefs Drive You? Harnessing the power of empowering beliefs to reach your goals

When we look at people who have reached a goal we also aspire to achieve, we often ask ourselves the wrong question.

I recently recorded a TV documentary on the National Ironman Triathlon held in Hawaii every year. That goal is still on my bucket list, and as I watched, I found myself asking the wrong question almost immediately.

“How do they train for such an ultimate test of physical endurance?”

The answer of course, lies in hundreds of training books and online resources. The first question out of people’s mouths when I lost 60 pounds in college was “How did you do that?” As for the goals and New Year’s Resolutions that you have set, it is easy to find out “how” to do something. As a matter of fact, you can find out “How” to do almost anything in the world with today’s technology; just ask “Google”

So, if “how” is the wrong question to ask, what is the right question?

The short interview with the eighty five year old man racing in the Ironman brought me back to my senses. Before the “How?” question, I needed to ask “What or Why?”

“What drove him? or Why was he able to train for such an ultimate test of physical endurance?”

The answer was simple. He had a simple life belief: “Go anaerobic once a day.” He believed in being active and pushing himself once a day into an anaerobic state while exercising.

“What drives me to run marathons consistently, or why am did I train to run ultramarathons?” One of my beliefs is that running is the most whole and complete personal experience. It is mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually fulfilling.

I run consistently because I believe that doing something that provides a whole and complete experience makes me a better husband, father, executive coach, and person.

Buried within the “What’s and Why’s” are the BELIEFS that will bridge the gap between setting the goal and learning “How” to do it.

Everyone knows “how” to lose weight. The true challenge for people is that they are not connected enough to the “What and Why” (the beliefs and rules) that have allowed others to succeed. They have not adopted those beliefs and rules as their own.

If you have not set some goals for this year, ask yourself, “What could I accomplish this year that would be the most mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually fulfilling experience for me?”  If you have your goals, but are already struggling with sticking to those New Year’s resolutions, look at someone who has achieved those results. Put the question of “How have they accomplished it?” on pause for a minute, and instead, ask yourself the much more essential question of “What drove them?” and “Why did they achieve this goal?” Seek out the beliefs that have allowed them to succeed and make them your own.

And then, and only then ask, “How did they do it?” Once you have adopted empowering beliefs, taking action will become much easier.

Enjoy your very own Ironman!

 

One Minute Business Coaching Solution

Here is the One Minute Business Solution:

1. Take out a pen and paper

2. Write, RIGHT NOW, as FAST AS YOU CAN, the answer to this question:

“What do you believe about your business?”   WRITE—RIGHT NOW!!!!!!

At least one page…if you are reading this…STOP AND DO IT!

WHEW…now that you are back…I have a follow-up question:

How much of what you wrote, was about Possibility and Moving Towards Your Goals of Building and Creating? how much of what you wrote was about Necessity and Moving Away From what You Don’t Want?

Letting go of the latter, those beliefs based in Necessity and Moving Away From is your One-Minute To Success Business Solution. WHY?

Necessity and Moving Away From beliefs open the door to a scarcity driven mentality. Lack breeds Lack and the reason I asked you to write it down right away, is because what drives your success in business is not what you consciously think about but what is just below the surface in your unconscious mind.

How often have you seen the sales person go in, make a great presentation and just not ask for the order and close the deal? On the surface they may say, “I rock! Things can’t be better!” but underneath is the Necessity and Moving Away From of, “I’m afraid of rejection, I don’t know exactly what to say, I’m afraid I’m being pushy, I might lose the sale, or I don’t like it when sales people ask me to make a buying decision.”

Fear, scarcity and lack are killers of any business. Keeping track of your beliefs about yourself and your business are keys for Success. And Letting go of the Negative beliefs are critical.

Wait, I forgot to let you know HOW you can let them go and what the One Minute Solution is! With the techniques of Hypnosis, NLP and Time Line Therapy, a person can easily and permanently identify and release limiting decisions and beliefs less than One Minute. If you are interested in more clients, more leads, more cash flow in your business, call now for your Executive Business Coaching “Success-Now” Session.  Clear up the head trash that is preventing you from achieving all you desire in your business and finances.  (919) 792-0085

To your continued success,

James M Murphy

 

How to Succeed: 4 Master Steps

In the science of Neuro Linguistic Programming, (NLP), one of the fundamental skills is modeling. NLP is the study of how to be excellent at something. If someone is getting excellent results then there has to be a pattern that can be replicated for someone else to be successful too.

In looking at diets for instance, whether you are South Beach, Atkins, Paleo, Weight Watchers or any other, the same pattern for getting results stands true. Basically, the body absorbs calories in the following order: simple sugars/carbohydrates (most processes things like high fructose corn syrup, sugar, pasta, etc.), next is complex carbohydrates that come from fruits and vegetables with higher fiber content, next is fats and last is proteins.

The common pattern in all of the diets is that you cut out the first source, simple sugars/carbohydrates, and most of the second. Then, your body is trained to use fat as energy. Hence, effective reconditioning of the body use fat as its primary energy resource.

What does this have to do with self-help, motivation and living the life of your dreams?

Every successful person has followed these basic 4 Steps to Success.  Most self help program covers many, or just one, of the following 4 Steps to Success.

1. Become Definite about your Mission, Purpose, or Path in Life.

2. Release any and all negative associations that aren’t in alignment with your Mission or Purpose.

3. Create a Master Plan to build and create something that provides an emotional experience for others that will help them to create/live their purpose. Build it!

4. Make sure the Tithe, give generously to complete the circuit of energy.

Follow these four steps and success will be knocking on your door sooner rather than later.

TO your continued success,

James

If you are stuck finding your Purpose, Clearing Negative emotions, creating a Master Plan or finding a worthwhile means for tithing, call for your “Success-Now” Session.

(919) 792-0085 

Happiness: 3 Simple Steps

3 Secrets to Happiness

Do you remember that great book you once read? It seemed kind of long when you picked it up but as you read the first page there was anticipation, excitement, and desire to find out what was going to happen?

And like most books, it started slow as the characters developed. But, the plot thickened and it got more and more exciting and it started to go by faster and faster. Until finally, the ending was in sight and you couldn’t put it down, time stood still and you voraciously relished every last word to the very end.

Life is like a good book for the “Happy Person.”

There are three steps to achieve happiness.

1. A Happy Person has a long term vision, mission, or purpose for life that is achievable. In essence, they begin with the end in mind. Knowing what your purpose is and where you are going in life has many benefits.  First, it allows a person to relax and not get stressed because they “aren’t where they are supposed to be yet.” Mission and purpose allow positive emotional states like peace and relaxation to be present when a person focuses on their long term purpose. Second, in the face of obstacles, they have all the time in the world to find solutions because they have confidence, knowing they are on the right path and doing the right things.

2. While keeping their purpose in mind, A Happy Person chunks down their goals into small measureable actions that are easily attainable. At first, learning to tie your shoes is a laborious process. You have to bend down, get the laces, work through each single step to get the knot right. A happy person can focus on one small step at a time because they are very present in the moment. They are “Happily learning” each small step of the process because they know it is their mission and purpose to learn to tie their shoes. There is anticipation, curiosity, and excitement in discovering the joys of working towards their goals.

3. Chunking down goals into small attainable moments, a Happy Person can anchor in positive and inspiring thoughts, feelings and emotions to “living and learning.” Each and every moment becomes a joy. Just like at the end of the book. Momentum grows exponentially as happy people experience success in every moment of the day. Smiles and happiness are infectious and move the world.

BONUS STEP: More Happiness Now!

Go for a walk and ask yourself these questions 3-5 minutes a piece in this order. This exercise should take about 3-15 minutes. Let you mind answer the question each time before asking the question again.

1. When have I been Happy in the past? (3-5 min)

2. How do I know I am feeling Happy now? (3-5 min)

3. How am I going to continue to be Happy throughout the rest of the day? Tomorrow? Next week? Next Month?  (3-5 min…future pace out this question, ie  day, tomorrow, next week, month, etc)

When would NOW be a good time to continue to be Happy?

Your life is one great story. Write your own book of happiness, achievement and success. Happiness is contagious and so are smiles. Wear yours proudly!

To your continued Happiness, James

Anyone you know UNHAPPY with their life? Have them call to set up their “Success-Now” session at (919) 792-0085.

 

Do you know the lifetime value of a client?

Do You Know How Much Each Client Is Worth To Your Business?

The value of one client is the total gross profit that you accumulate from them minus the acquisition and marketing cost you incur to enroll them over the course of your business relationship together.

When you know this value, you also know exactly how much money you can spend to acquire a client through marketing.

Do you realize the power that gives you as a small business owner? Did you know that by knowing your customer lifetime value, you can literally dominate your market and eliminate your competition in the minds of your clients?

What you need to know…

Most business owners know intuitively that it’s much easier to make an additional sale to a current client than it is to make that first sale that acquires that client. Unfortunately, they don’t do enough to figure out how they can sell more to their existing client base.

Why you need to know this…

It’s important to understand that a client who has had an exceptional experience with your product or service is naturally going to look to you to help them fulfill their other needs with additional products. They now trust you, and are happy with the relationship they have with you. You should take advantage of their trust and make an offer for another product/service immediately after their initial purchase, and schedule frequent campaigns to offer more to your client base.

The cost to you if you fail to act…

When your customers recognize that you provide them with value, they will continue to purchase from you. But, you can’t assume they will just call you up and ask you to sell them something. You have to make the effort to ask for their order.

Are you doing that?

Do you know how to do that?

Are you aware that all of this can be put on auto-pilot, and requires no further action on your part whatsoever?

This is easy to do and in most cases… costs you nothing except a little time to set it up.

How can you learn to develop these critical skills?

We’ll show you how. We’ll help you to develop these skills quickly and easily through our E-Learning Marketing SystemTM Coaching Program. In fact, we want to share our expertise with you and demonstrate our expertise.

For example, how would you like to fire the clients you hate to work with… and instead, build a successful business by hand selecting the type of clients you want to work with? With the help of our E-Learning Marketing System, we can help you quickly grasp this critical business fundamental and immediately apply its power to help you build your business to record heights. Listen to this exclusive webinar and we’ll unlock our vault to this proprietary members-only information.

To take a Test Drive on our system visit http://StartupMarketingForSuccess.com/myguidedtour

To your continued succe$$,

James M Murphy

P.S. Please remember that at any time you feel ready and qualified to move forward and acquire the professional help that can enable you to build the business of your dreams, just click here and check out our E-Learning Marketing SystemTM. It’s helping small business owners just like you get the answers and the help they need to build the business they have always wanted.

We created the E-Learning Marketing SystemTM with the perfect combination of online resources, tools and support to get you out of any financial distress you’re presently experiencing… help you get laser-focused on your highest income-producing activities… and help you develop and then apply the fundamentals that build multimillion dollar businesses. click here to see for yourself.

Your $$ Stress STOPS…3 Wealth Principles to Freedom!

“Money in the bank is like toothpaste in the tube. Easy to take out, hard to put back.” ~Earl Wilson: American journalist & author

Next week is going to be Financial Week on the Evolution for Success Coaching Blog. There are 3-Simple aspects of money and next M-W-F, we will explore each one seperately. Mastery of these 3 Financial Principles will make you rich and wealthy beyond your dreams.

Most people today are living with an underlying fear of either losing their job, not having enough for retirement, or some heightened level of stress due to financial uncertainty. It is pervasive at every level of our society: from the overall US economy, to the individual state governments, to businesses offering less and less incentives along with higer workloads, to the individual families working to put food on the table.

Application and Mastery of these tools will allow you to have all you desire in life.

You can put the food on your table each week and create a secure financial blanket to wrap up in every night and sleep soundly free of stress. This will help to change the community, whichever state you currently live in and help to return this nation to freedom.

Email me at the end of the week to receive your synopsis of the principles and how YOU can put them into action to create unlimited motivation, dedication and commitment to a new financial future.

Tune in next week…you will be surprised with these rich fundamentals.

To your continued success,

James

How to manage time…1 Simple Solution

Over the weekend a friend asked how business was going and I heard myself say, “I need the world to stop for 4 months so I can get everything done I want to…and then have it re-engage.” I got to thinking about what I said later that evening and I realized if that was truly the case…I wasn’t managing time effectively at all. How does an entrepreneur/CEO/Executive manage time better? Here is one simple solution…

First, accept the fact that you can not manage time. It isn’t time that needs to be managed but your mental focus and actions. A persons mental focus will always be in one of three places at any given time. the past, present or future and each one has a definitive purpose.

Looking back to the past allows us to reflect on successes and failures (which are just opportunities to learn). Understanding the successes and failures of the past allows a person to take useful strategies forward and find new ways to use and apply them. It also allows us to identify negative actions and behaviors and reframe them into positive “learnings” so any negative emotions disappear and new possibilities for how a person “could choose” to do things differently in the future are uncovered.

Focusing on the Future is crucial because it allows a person to focus on one of the greatest human needs…becoming more. If we are not growing we are dying, it is a fundamental law of nature. The challenge is that some people focus on growing more that is positive and some people get into the trap of growing more of what they don’t want. A positive future opens the door to possiblities, growth, and “more” of life. The negative future, signalled by statements like “I don’t know or want…” only perpetuates negativity, scarcity and disempowering emotions.

And last place your focus can be is in the present, being immersed in the exact action, thought, belief and feeling right NOW…and NOW…and NOW…and NOW…and NOW. The present is the hardest to focus on because the mind is constantly pulled between the past and future.

THE SIMPLE SOLUTION…HERE IT IS!

Future—Past—Present

Focus on exactly what you want in the future…(not what you don’t want, but what you do)
Think about what tools, strategies and resources you need to be creative, industrious and solution oriented FROM THE PAST
Combine both into ACTION NOW in the PRESENT clear of any distractions.

Oh yeah, celebrate your success from doing something different today! When applied consistently, you will find yourself more motivated, inspired, fearless, and results will start to show!

If you find yourself lacking focus, a fearless attitude, or clear direction forward…call today for your “Success-Now!” Session. (919) 792-0085.

In the month of August, email me at james@evolutionforsuccess.com with the word 30-Day Challenge. I will send you a 30-Day Success Sheet and two complimentary 15-minute checkin’s, personally with me, as my way of saying thank you for your support over the years!

To your continued success,

James

How to create raving fans that refer you business!

Emerson once said, “What you do speaks so loudly that I can’t hear what you say!”

This is an incredible business insight. How many people work to promote their business by “speaking so loudly about their business” that people are turned off and never get to see what they can “do for the prospective client in their business.” There is a reason for the saying, “Actions speak louder than words.”

Business owners today will create a lot more success if they remember that prospective clients are watching what they do, often times more than anything they say. Businesses are constantly critiqued by the small courtesies that distinguish them from their competition.

  • For example, after a lunch and a business card exchange, do you immediately send the other person a invitations through social media to stay connected?
  • If someone really goes out of their way to help, do you send a “thank you” card?
  • What is your referral bonus? And if you have one…does it include a personal touch?

I know for me personally, I network a lot and everytime I meet someone new and they say, “Let’s do lunch sometime!” I immediately pull out the iPhone and say, “Great, let’s set up a time now!” If they don’t commit or respond with “Send me some times by email and we’ll connect,” I never follow up. When I pull out my phone, I am saying in that moment, “I value you and your time and I value me and my time, do you?” If they push it off on me to follow up with them, chances are, I will end up chasing them and that’s not who I want to do business with.

  • How do you answer your phone? How do you handle a cancellation when contractually, you are right but the customer wasn’t happy? Do you accommodate them or go by the “rules?”

You would be surprised why people are turned off by using a business or company. And while you can’t be everything to everyone; remember Emerson’s quote, “What you do speaks so loudly that I can’t hear what you say!”

To your continued success,

James
(919) 745-7569

PS-Comment below on what you have “done” in your business that spoke loudly with a client that you didn’t need to say anything.

Perseverance…the Key to Success!

“Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not: nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education alone will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.”
― Calvin Coolidge

Let’s talk for a moment about Persistence. If this is a behavioral trait that creates success, how is it defined? Webster’s defines persistence as, “the steady pursuit of what is undertaken.”

Let’s go one step deeper. What allows someone to be persistent? I like the term perseverence. Webster defines this as, “to continue from a determination of will not to give up.” Would you like to persevere a little more in achieving something more in life?

My 9-year old daugher came home from school at the end of last year with a brilliant homework assignment. She had been tasked to build an acronym for Perseverance. Here is the best way to persist or persevere in any endeavor:

P – Practice
E – Endurance
R – Respect to yourself
S – Set your mind on a goal
E – Encourage yourself
V – Venture with your luck
E – Even though impossible, go try
R – Retry and don’t let yourself give up
A – Ask questions
N – Never say “can’t”
C – Can’t give up
E – Everything will go well

Success in any endeavor is accomplished with perseverance. Those are some pretty great belief systems and things to keep in the front of your mind as you move forward towards your goals. They also help to cut down that most dreaded of all obstacles in the pursuit of our goals: FEAR. I love this quote from Winston Churchill.

“Sure I am this day we are masters of our fate, that the task which has been set before us is not above our strength; that its pangs and toils are not beyond our endurance. As long as we have faith in our own cause and an unconquerable will to win, victory will not be denied us.”
― Winston Churchill

In any endeavor you must put in the time and persevere until you achieve your goals. Even if the fear is there day in and day out. Persevere and you will always cross the finish line.

To your continued success,

James

Happiness Formula Revealed…

If you are looking for the magic formula for more “HAPPINESS,” look no further. Like all new ways of thinking and believing, they stick around longer when they are anchored into our neurology. Take this 31 day Happiness Challenge everyday in July and see how your life changes in the next month. Here are the steps:

1. Journal:
A. List three problems that you are thankful for (the reasons you are thankful must be to remind you something you know you are in the core of your being or what there is to learn from the problem, the learning of which will empower you with a new belief that will better you. Example, “I am thankful that I am scared to death of making these business cold calls this week because it will help be breakthrough my fear of being good enough, overcome caring so much about what other people think of me, and allow my business to go the next level by brining in clients and revenue so that I can take another vacation and help another person change their life)
B. Journal any other thoughts, ideas or concepts worth nothing and thank your unconscious mind for giving you those ideas and insights (regardless of if they are negative or positive)

2. Exercise: Put some form of physical movement in your day. A minimum of 20-minutes out in the sun for some vitamin D. Anything to get some additional oxygen to your mind and body, get your lymph system going and get those natural feel good drugs released (as my daughter says, “get those ‘indoor-friends’ moving” (endorphins)

3. Meditation: Meditation is proven to support a healthier immune system, relaxation and stress release. To get in the habit I suggest just meditating to your favorite song without words. Or, sit in your car before or after work for as little as just two minutes and clear your mind, practice turning off your brain.

4. Perform one meaningful, random act of kindness. It has to be meaningful which means it involves something that is emotional. An example, everytime I take my kids to McD’s, I ALWAYS put my change and a few dollars in the Ronald McDonald box because I know what they did for one of my clients who they supported when his son needed a brain operation. It immediately fills my heart with thankfulness and I think of the families in need who will have kids in similiar situations and all the good it will do for them.

Feelings need to be cultivated. They need to be cared for, watered, nurtured and supported so they can grow and produce fruit! Try this challenge for 31-days with me and see how it changes your life.

TO your continued success,

James

PS-Email me at James@evolutionforsuccess with the word “Happiness” in the subject line and I will gladly send you a daily “Happiness” form you can use for the month of July.

You have problems, compared to what…?

Bad Monday

Are you having a bad day? I thought I was one day last week. I was going to be late for an appointment and I was really frustrated since being late is one of my pet peeves. My frustration level grew as I turned off the highway and my forward progress came to a screeching halt. In front of me was an accident and a long line of backed up cars. As I took the detour in front of me, I snapped the picture you see in the post above. An interesting thing happened as I drove past this accident. Somehow, seeing the plight of this truck driver, putting myself in his shoes, and thinking about the phone call he was going to have to make to his boss put my problem (frustrated by being 10 minutes late) into perspective.

One of the greatest questions I ask clients when they are frustrated and angry at a problem in life is, “OK, its bad, but compared to what?” As human beings, it is easy to get wrapped up in OUR life, OUR problems, OUR perspectives, and OUR beliefs. To jumpstart the process of getting a person out of their OWN way so they can work to a solution, just ask, “Compared to what?” When we shift our attention to the plight of others, the challenges of others, the life circumstances of others (that we can relate too) it helps to put things into a different perspective. When you can shift your “referential index,” how you are referring to something, with a different perspective, it lessens the emotional impact so you can think more clear and see the opportunities to think or do something different.

It is not to be used as a justification for NOT doing something different but a means of getting unstuckk so you can find a new solution and take action to achieve a different outcome. Next time you are stuck and think something in your life really stinks…just state the problem and then ask yourself, “Ok, this stinks but compared to what?” So you thought you were having a bad day, compared to what?

In the end, my ten minutes late was nothing compared to the delays this driver faced, his boss faced, and their clients and their customers may have faced. It’s good to keep life in perspective.

If you are feeling stuck and frustrated with your job, career, relationships or finances…CALL today to schedule your Introductory Strategy Session to start moving forward again. (919) 792-0085

To your continued success,

James

Say What??? Shake Up Your Beliefs with NLP Pattern Interrupts

Using a “Pattern Interrupt”, an NLP Technique, is a great way of initiating change in your behavior.  It creates a virtual Hiccup in your thought process so that your normal pattern of behavior is interrupted and you can consciously insert a new belief that leads to an action.

Humor is a fantastic tool to incorporate into the Pattern Interrupt because it links up a “fun” state to the new behavior you choose to take afterwards. Here are a few fun pattern interrupts that have come up with clients lately.

Belief: a “Waste not, want not” attitude in regards to food at dinner.

“You can Waste it, or Waist it, which waist do you want?”

Belief: I am too tired to get up in the morning.

“It is a simple matter of mind over mattress.”

Belief: I’ll start tomorrow, I meant to do that, or I was going to…

“When would NOW be a good time to start?”

Belief: I don’t know.

“I know I don’t know what I don’t know now, but if I did know now, what would I know to do?”

Belief:  We argue all the time.

“This is a great opportunity for discussion.”

Belief: I hate this!

“This situation is truly less that favorable!”

And my favorite:

Belief: It’s not in my job description, I shouldn’t have to do it.

“If you don’t stay sharp and on point, like the tip of a spear, all you get in the end is the shaft.”

 

Pattern Interrupts can be a great tool for not only changing your state but the emotional state of others also. The shock value of not giving a “typical” response is what ignites the opportunity for change to happen in patterns of thought. Adding humor is like adding gas to the fire!

Have fun creating some pattern interrupts for yourself.  I would love to hear yours below.

 

Liked This Article?  Subscribe and Get my Thought of The Week newsletter directly in your inbox!  (You’ll also get a free copy of my “Emotional Mastery” training and my Free Special Report “5 Steps to Stop Procrastinating“)

 

Beware of the Assumptions You Make Subconsciously

Are you familiar with this parable?

A clergyman was walking along a country road when he saw a young farmer struggling to load a huge pile of hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off.

“It’s at least 100 degrees out here today and baking hot,’ said the cleargyman, ‘and the sweats pouring off of you. Why don’t you stop and rest for a few minutes?’

‘No, I can’t stop now,’ said the young farmer. ‘my father would not like it at all.’

And he continued re-loading the hay with determination. ‘but surely,’ continued the clergyman, ‘everyone is entitled to short break once in a while. Here, have a drink of water.’

I’d better not,’ said the young farmer, ‘my father would be really mad if I stopped now.’ And he continued reloading the hay.’

‘Your father must be a real slave driver,’ said the clergyman. ‘tell me where he is and I’ll give him a good piece of my mind!’

The young farmer replied, ‘he’s under the load of hay!’

How many times have you been stunned to discover your assumption about a situation did not match the reality of the situation at all?  We’ve all been there!

Making assumptions about situations is a natural human behavior. However, being careful in making assumptions is very important. Assumptions influence the general attitudes that a person has. General attitudes lead to what we expect to happen in certain situations. Those expectations over time, lead to creating beliefs that are held to be true. Those beliefs, in turn, influence out actions. And actions determine the Results that we have in life.

Making sure that you assume the best in all situations and all people can have a tremendously positive impact in your life. Over time, assume the best and you will have the best.

 

Liked This Article?  Subscribe and Get my Thought of The Week newsletter directly in your inbox!  (You’ll also get a free copy of my “Emotional Mastery” training and my Free Special Report “5 Steps to Stop Procrastinating“)

 

And Confusion is a Good Thing because….?

Have you ever been confused? At a seminar once upon a time, a larger than life character told me that being confused is definitely cause for celebration. The idea being that when someone is confused, that’s the precursor to learning something new.

Simply said, nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning we attach to it.  If you can change or start a belief in a heartbeat, how does it work?  The answer is simple: We naturally learn by taking a new experience and linking it up to a previous experience.  The brain cells that fire together, wire together. And they wire together with emotion and feeling.

So, if we want to stop a pattern of unhealthy thinking, putting ourselves in a new highly emotional state of confusion is healthy, IF in those moments we consciously attach a new meaning to an old pattern.

For instance, in 1999 when I went through my coaches training with Mr. Larger than Life, we showed up one morning all expecting to have a day of classroom instruction. Instead we were directed to a van and told we were off to an “experience”!

Thirty minutes later, as we pulled into the skydiving place, people got confused. Thoughts ran through everyone’s mind: This was not the training day we were supposed to have; OMG we have to jump out of a plane?!?; OMG the fear; OMG the panic; OMG the anxiety; OMG the CONFUSION and OMG I AM GOING TO DIE!! People were frantically trying to reason out the situation and decipher what it meant for them because they did not automatically have a past frame of reference to link it to!

While most were in a state of confusion, I was feeling something different! You see, I had a past frame of reference from being in the US Army. I had already experienced their moment of panic, fear and confusion when I went through US Army Airborne School.  And in my moment of panic, fear and confusion jumping out the door at only 1,200 feet, I anchored in the new belief that, if I live through this, I can do anything! And, I had those brain cells fire together and wire together over the next 4 jumps. So, when we had to jump out of the plane in tandem with a 12,000 foot free fall and plenty of time to react to any issues, I was not fearful, but positively excited! I knew, “I could handle anything!”

The great thing was, at the day’s end, everyone wanted to go up again and experience skydiving without a tandem instructor and go solo! And, we had all bonded and participated in a life event that brought us all closer together!

Ultimately, skydiving a second time was not to be. Mr. Larger than Life had something better in store for us. At the end of the next day of training, at about 10pm, instead of going home, we were stretched again.

The instructions were simple: empty all of your pockets and give us everything except your drivers’ license. Take this small bag that contains fifty cents, an emergency number to call, pocket camera for proof, a small pack of almonds as our gift to you. Men have to go alone, women in groups of two and you have 15 hours to get from San Diego to Los Angeles and back again using nothing but your coaching skills and your ability to add value to others. “If you are not back by 5pm Sunday, you fail the course!”

Let me just say, while some were excited, I was not.  This was my moment of  “OMG to LA and back on a Sunday night, alone?, OMG the fear, OMG the panic, OMG the anxiety, OMG the CONFUSION and OMG I AM GOING TO DIE!!

How do you think it ended? That’s a Thought of the Week for another time. Or, do you know the ending already?  Successful people thrive on OMG moments!

What are your OMG moments that have shaped your success…I would LOVE to know them! Comment below!

 

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After Thanksgiving Thought

Thank you to everyone who sent out their warm wishes for Thanksgiving. It is important to stop at times and remember all of the things in life that we are thankful for; friends, family, job, career, health, etc.

I was thinking about the holiday and wondered what it would be like if, in order to balance out Thanksgiving, we had a Receiving Day?

Some people have a hard time receiving the gifts offered to them and it costs them their self-confidence, personal power and self-worth.

It reminded me of the story of the little girl who was so excited and grateful that she and her daddy went out for ice cream. She got a big scoop of vanilla on a sugar cone and it was looking so good. As she stepped outside of the ice cream shop, she tripped forward and “SPLAT” went the ball of ice cream on the ground. Tears welled up in her eyes as she looked up at her daddy. But then, she noticed the sign in the window behind her daddy of a sugar cone with two and three scoops of ice cream. So, she started begging daddy to get the two and three scoop ice cream cones to replace the one she had just tipped off the cone. Did Dad go for it and get her the two or three scoop cone? No. If you can’t handle one scoop of ice cream, why would someone turn around and give you even more than you can handle?

The same principle applies with receiving.

When someone pays you a compliment, do you feel uncomfortable and do you feel automatically compelled to give that person a compliment in return? If someone offers to buy you lunch, do you start playing the “see who can sneak the credit card to the waiter first” game? If someone gives you a gift, do you feel compelled to get them a gift in return?

If the answer is yes, you might want to ask yourself whether or not it’s because you place less value and worth in yourself than the person giving you a gift. You send a signal to yourself that you are somehow a little “less than” or not as deserving as others might think. Talk about an undermining belief pattern!

In order to handle a second and third scoop, master the phrase, “Thank you.” And let it go.

That can be tricky since reciprocating is also a form of politeness, but then again, so is accepting a compliment graciously.

As often as you can, practice graciously accepting what your friends, co-workers, clients and life are offering you. Don’t be too quick to dismiss someone’s appreciation of you in an effort to appear humble.

Be a thankful and a gracious receiver.

Nothing is too small to be grateful for. Practice receiving compliments, money, and gifts this season with a simple and sincere, “Thank you.”

It may seem odd at first, but what you receive in return will be a real gift!

Thank you!!!

 

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