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10 Top Tips to Stay Motivated and Focused this week…

Ever seem a little scattered? Do your business goals seem elusive and just out of reach? Are you frustrated at the end of the day because you never completed what you needed to? Are you so scattered that you don’t even have time to read this post? If so, then here are the Top Ten Tips to stay focused this week…

10. Answer the question, “What is the specific result I am focused on achieving this week?”

Without a clear destination you can’t get where you want to go. Imagine getting in a plane and just taking off to “go somewhere.” Use the SMART goals format to define your destination. Simple & Specific, Measurable & Meaningful, As if Now & Action oriented, Reasonable & Realistic, and Timed Towards what you desire. Specific is Success!

9. Get Motivated by Listing all the emotional reasons “WHY” you want to get to your destination.

When a goal is set in place…so are the obstacles that will be needed to be overcome. This will take energy and energy lies in generating the emotional “WHY” we want it. For ourselves, our kids, our spouse; dig down deep into that well of emotion and let it all gush forth. For extra credit, link up your life purpose to the goal and your identity to really get some power.

8. Find New People:

You are where you are, in part, due to the peer group you have around you. My workout buddy in the morning is the best. We both push each other. We are doing the Insanity workout and just this morning as we were completing our workout, he asked if I wanted to get in an additional 15 minute “pump” on the weights. He pushes me even when I’m tired and am ready to be done. I reciprocate by making sure I am at the gym every morning before he is. That way, he knows he has to bring the DVD’s or he will let me down by not showing up. We both add value to each other in different ways.

7. Clear Your Clutter

Get rid of anything that isn’t supporting your success. There needs to be emptiness in order for something new to come into your life. If a woman wants a man in her life but is sleeping at night with extra pillows and her pets…there’s no room for a man in her bed. If a guy doesn’t clean out 3/4 of his closet, get an extra toothbrush, have his/hers towels, and cleans out two dresser drawers, how will there be space for a woman to come into his life? Clear out your junk and make room!

6. Define & Master a Single Core Skill

Focus on changing one specific behavior that will move you towards your goal. You can prepare to walk/run all day with the right shoes, the music, playlists, weather, timing, treadmill or outside, determining your routes, estimating your time; but in the end all you have to master is putting one foot in front of the other for an extended period of time. Master taking one 8-10 inch step at a time with good form and posture.

5. Get comfortable with Being Uncomfortable

Let’s say a person wants to reduce their weight. They will need to get comfortable being uncomfortable. When they “FEEL” uncomfortable because their stomach grumbles and they would normally go for some food, how can they start to feel comfortable with that moment and appreciate it instead of dread it? (This leads to #4)

4. Find a new, more empowering belief

Using the example above, when the stomach rumbles and they start to “FEEL” uncomfortable, insert a new belief for the old one. If the normal process is: stomach rumbles, the person says, “I’m starving to death and gotta eat” interrupt that self talk with, “excellent, that means that I must be thirsty” and then take a new action and drink water. (Sounds silly but I did that when I lost 60 lbs over 20 years ago and it still serves me to this day!)

3. Create Small Reminders

If you have a bigger goal of a trip, weight loss, business goals, etc. remember that where your focus goes your energy flows. Change your passwords to reflect your goals: ToughMudderNov2018, StBarth2017, CollegePaidinFull, Beachretirement2035, and BE CREATIVE. Put pictures on your mirror, in the shower, above your bed, in the bathroom, dash of the car, create reminders everywhere. These small reminders will help you stay focused and on track.

2. Create Quiet time to Focus

I recently read an article stating the main reason most small businesses fail is because of lack of planning. Strategic, purposeful thinking can only be done in a quiet setting and it should be done consistently (preferably a block of time weekly and even daily!) In order to create this space…find somewhere outside of your normal office, etc. (I have a client who uses a study room at his local library, no one finds him there) This will avoid the trap of the business running the person instead of the person running the business. During this scheduled quiet time see point #1.

1. Master Fear Management

I don’t care if you are the CEO of a Fortune 50 or a small solopreneur. In today’s competitive market the need to be innovative, creative and flexible creates HUGE uncertainty. Uncertainty breeds FEAR. Fear can be present due to change happening in the negative, ie going bankrupt and also the positive, ie problems that arise from rapid growth and expansion. Master Your Fears. Embrace them everyday because if you succumb to FEAR it will only lead to low self confidence, being motivated by necessity instead of possibility and worst of all, create a scarcity mentality. MASTER FEAR by doing at least one specific task everyday that you fear the most in your business. Eat Uncertainty and Fear for Breakfast to earn your dessert after dinner.

BONUS TIP:

Get an unconditional form of support to keep you on track…like an Executive Business Coach. (You know I had to plug that in!) Regardless of whether it’s me or not, no one earns a Grammy, an Emmy or an Oscar and stands on the stage during the acceptance speech and says, “I DID IT ALL MYSELF!” They all have people to thank…people who believed in them, provided support in those troubled moments of doubt, uncertainty and FEAR and pushed them to stay focused on their dreams and goals.

FOCUS!

To your continued success,

James

You have problems, compared to what…?

Bad Monday

Are you having a bad day? I thought I was one day last week. I was going to be late for an appointment and I was really frustrated since being late is one of my pet peeves. My frustration level grew as I turned off the highway and my forward progress came to a screeching halt. In front of me was an accident and a long line of backed up cars. As I took the detour in front of me, I snapped the picture you see in the post above. An interesting thing happened as I drove past this accident. Somehow, seeing the plight of this truck driver, putting myself in his shoes, and thinking about the phone call he was going to have to make to his boss put my problem (frustrated by being 10 minutes late) into perspective.

One of the greatest questions I ask clients when they are frustrated and angry at a problem in life is, “OK, its bad, but compared to what?” As human beings, it is easy to get wrapped up in OUR life, OUR problems, OUR perspectives, and OUR beliefs. To jumpstart the process of getting a person out of their OWN way so they can work to a solution, just ask, “Compared to what?” When we shift our attention to the plight of others, the challenges of others, the life circumstances of others (that we can relate too) it helps to put things into a different perspective. When you can shift your “referential index,” how you are referring to something, with a different perspective, it lessens the emotional impact so you can think more clear and see the opportunities to think or do something different.

It is not to be used as a justification for NOT doing something different but a means of getting unstuckk so you can find a new solution and take action to achieve a different outcome. Next time you are stuck and think something in your life really stinks…just state the problem and then ask yourself, “Ok, this stinks but compared to what?” So you thought you were having a bad day, compared to what?

In the end, my ten minutes late was nothing compared to the delays this driver faced, his boss faced, and their clients and their customers may have faced. It’s good to keep life in perspective.

If you are feeling stuck and frustrated with your job, career, relationships or finances…CALL today to schedule your Introductory Strategy Session to start moving forward again. (919) 792-0085

To your continued success,

James

9 Quick Tips To Boost Your Self Esteem

Feeling good about yourself is a wonderful feeling. So why don’t we do it more often?

True and lasting self-esteem is a combination of feeling good at about yourself for something specific you have done and a more permanent deep-seated feeling of self-worth. That deep-rooted belief is based on the conclusions you draw about yourself over time. It’s something that can be developed and fostered.

Here are 9 simple tips to feel better about yourself and grow your self-esteem.

 

 1. Focus on your character, not simply your achievements. Challenge yourself! Take on project you find a bit intimidating and give yourself a chance to astonish yourself! Give yourself a chance to prove to yourself that you are in fact quite remarkable in many ways. You may not conquer every challenge, but each time you tackle something and overcome obstacles it provides another opportunity to reinforce and acknowledge positive aspects of yourself. And when you do overcome those challenges, resist the temptation to minimize the effort and strength it took to overcome them. For example, praise the perseverance it took to finally get that new job or the commitment it took to follow through and make that sale or stick to your exercise plan. Achieving is never an All-or-Nothing experience: you will make mistakes along the way and fall off the wagon from time to time. Those setbacks don’t define you, the character you show and develop along the way does.

 

2. Be wary of expectations. Once you have achieved a goal, it’s natural to automatically take it for granted and raise the bar. That’s a good thing! We are programmed to want more. Yet, make sure you “go for more” in a realistic way. It is more feasible to go from running a 5K race to a 10K race, instead of from a 5K race to a marathon. So, give yourself plenty of opportunities to succeed by making your goals realistic.

 

3. Acknowledge your successes. Take a moment and pat yourself on the back for what you have done –now and in the past. If you have not listed all the successes in your life to date, you will probably forget them. Stop and take stock once in a while. Recognize your past successes. Try something different and write them down. It’s called positive stacking. Just as we sometimes stack negatively and start focusing only on the negative, you can consciously direct your mind to focus on the long list of things you have accomplished that show your character. And don’t fall in the comparison trap. Being competitive can be a great motivator, but don’t let comparisons define your worth.

 

4. Stop the negative self-talk. Stand guard at the doorway of your mind, for what you let in is what you become! People who feel good about themselves, talk and think good about themselves. Watch out for negative thought patterns like jumping to negative conclusions about other people’s actions for instance and assuming they are judging you negatively (most of the time, their behavior is not about you!). Challenge your negative or flawed thinking. Just because you feel incompetent doesn’t mean that you are. Refrain from –even jokingly– putting yourself down; over time, you will start believing your self put-downs. When you realize you are engaging in negative self talk, systematically interrupting your pattern will pay off! And for goodness sake, stop saying, “I’m Sorry!

 

5. Master a skill, pastime, sport, or other life interest. Become good at something that you love and are interested in. Mastery of anything is a key ingredient in maintaining a high opinion of yourself. So master something, anything that makes you feel special!

 

6. Pay attention to the image your project. Although it may sound simplistic, by acting as if you have self-esteem, you are sending positive messages about your self-image to the subconscious. This is a form of self-respect and positive self talk that become who you are –just like habitual negative self talk became ingrained. So, don’t neglect the way you look and what you do with your body. Dress nicely, pay attention to your personal grooming, work out so you have some physical energy and pep. Be mindful of your physiology so that you walk, stand, and sit as if you felt sure of yourself. Smile. Act the part until it becomes habitual.

 

7. Focus on what you can control and influence, not what you can’t. Many things in life are out of our control and influence. However, focusing on what is within your control and influence allows you to feel more in control of your life. Always look to take positive action on what is within your control and influence and let go of the rest.

 

8. Develop a supportive social network. We all rise and fall to the level of our peer group. If you are not involved in a positive and non judgmental peer group, get a new one! Don’t be a stepping stone for someone else’s self-esteem. You don’t need to let yourself be made less of so that someone else can feel good about themselves. Surround yourself with a peer group that has the mindset, the values, and the interests that you do.

 

9. Help others. Stop thinking about yourself so much! Focus your mind outside of yourself. It is always worthwhile to make others aware of their worth. In fact, make it a habit to notice the positive in others so it becomes more natural to notice the positive traits in yourself. But more importantly, when you make a difference in someone else’s life, it is easy to feel great about yourself. Allow yourself the satisfaction that giving brings. And as a bonus, when they thank you for being part of their life, don’t be too quick to push it off or minimize it for the sake of humility. Accept their compliment as an extra affirmation of you with a simple, “Thank You!”

 

Whatever a person believes about themselves is true. Self-esteem is not something you are born with. It is a muscle that is built with time, consistency and conditioning! It takes time to integrate new practices into your life but eventually they become what you do, then show up in what you have, and eventually they become your identity as who you are.

 

This article was first published on http://ezinearticles.com/?9-Quick-Tips-To-Boost-Your-Self-Esteem&id=6544585, and shared here because it’s awesome. For more tips and strategies about increasing your self-esteem, confidence, motivation and personal effectiveness, go to http://www.evolutionforsuccess.com. James Murphy is a personal development expert as well as an executive and life coach. He can be reached directly at 919-745-7569.

As Featured On EzineArticles

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Hesitation is the leading cause of roadkill

What’s the surest way to chip away at your self-esteem?  You guessed it: hesitation!  Join me as we look at how hesitation –a by-product of not being clear on what you want– leads to self-doubt and what you can do about it.

Motivation, personal development, and tips on raising your self confidence and self esteem by executive and life coach James Murphy