One dose of self-confidence for the guy in the corner, please!
There are two core basic needs that everyone strives to have fulfilled in their life: experience unconditional love and have a sense of value and worth.
Everyone works to meet these internally and externally.
The problem is that the needs have to be met internally first, otherwise, no matter how much love a person gets from others or how much other people to work to build their sense of value and worth, it will never be enough and a void will be present.
Self-confidence needs to be nurtured on four different levels:
- physical and
So, that begs the question, “How can a person develop more self-confidence” for themselves internally?
Glad you asked!
You develop self confidence when, you decide to take a specific action, so that you can earn and deserve the right to feel good about yourself, and then celebrate your success.
Let’s break it down and see why this seems so simple and yet it can be so challenging to accomplish.
1- “you need to decide.”
This is challenging because this step requires a person to really stop, define what is important to them, and CHOOSE what action to take that will lead them to a desired outcome.
This action has to be for you, about you, and be meaningful to you and you alone. It can’t PRIMARILY be for your spouse, kids, preacher, mom, dad, friends, or any other social influence. It has to be for you first.
2 – it has to be a specific action
Specific and measureable actions mean that once you have achieved the action you have to be aware of it. This gives absolute proof so you can’t talk yourself out of celebrating!
It is not enough to say that you are going to call some people. You have to specific, “I am going to call 5 prospects today and ask for referrals.” Even then, some people say, “well, I did call 5, but I could have called 10.” That’s a no-no!
3- “so you can earn and deserve.”
I have said it a thousand times. When you define any goal, you automatically put all of your obstacles in place. If you are going to feel good about yourself, you have to set a specific goal meaningful to you and take action to overcome the obstacles (mental, emotional, physical and spiritual) the goal came with, before you feel that you have “earned and deserve” the right to feel good about yourself.
“Earned and deserve” implies that you have put some work, overcome adversity, and succeeded in the task you set out for yourself. This is where self respect, integrity, honor, and courage are bred.
Then and only then, when all three steps have been accomplished INSIDE OF YOURSELF can you really feel like you deserve that feeling of self-confidence. It is not free. Self-confidence does not just stop by, ring the doorbell, share a pizza with you on the couch, and miraculously, when you get up the next morning, you have lost a pound, feel great about yourself, and are full of energy! Would be terrific if it worked that way, but sadly, it does not!
4- once you achieve your goals, you have to celebrate!
And, I recommend that you celebrate at 100%. If you want the self-confidence to stick, you had better celebrate and anchor in the great feelings.
If you talk yourself out of your success with language such as, “Yeah, but I should have done more, I could have been better, I need to work harder” Self-confidence does not stay for long. It is good for you to acknowledge yourself and being great, working hard, and achieving success.
NOTHING IS TOO SMALL TO CELEBRATE!
So, there you have it! Self-confidence in a can!
Comment below and let me know what you do to develop confidence in your life. I bet your list is a lot longer than you think it is!