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You have problems, compared to what…?

Bad Monday

Are you having a bad day? I thought I was one day last week. I was going to be late for an appointment and I was really frustrated since being late is one of my pet peeves. My frustration level grew as I turned off the highway and my forward progress came to a screeching halt. In front of me was an accident and a long line of backed up cars. As I took the detour in front of me, I snapped the picture you see in the post above. An interesting thing happened as I drove past this accident. Somehow, seeing the plight of this truck driver, putting myself in his shoes, and thinking about the phone call he was going to have to make to his boss put my problem (frustrated by being 10 minutes late) into perspective.

One of the greatest questions I ask clients when they are frustrated and angry at a problem in life is, “OK, its bad, but compared to what?” As human beings, it is easy to get wrapped up in OUR life, OUR problems, OUR perspectives, and OUR beliefs. To jumpstart the process of getting a person out of their OWN way so they can work to a solution, just ask, “Compared to what?” When we shift our attention to the plight of others, the challenges of others, the life circumstances of others (that we can relate too) it helps to put things into a different perspective. When you can shift your “referential index,” how you are referring to something, with a different perspective, it lessens the emotional impact so you can think more clear and see the opportunities to think or do something different.

It is not to be used as a justification for NOT doing something different but a means of getting unstuckk so you can find a new solution and take action to achieve a different outcome. Next time you are stuck and think something in your life really stinks…just state the problem and then ask yourself, “Ok, this stinks but compared to what?” So you thought you were having a bad day, compared to what?

In the end, my ten minutes late was nothing compared to the delays this driver faced, his boss faced, and their clients and their customers may have faced. It’s good to keep life in perspective.

If you are feeling stuck and frustrated with your job, career, relationships or finances…CALL today to schedule your Introductory Strategy Session to start moving forward again. (919) 792-0085

To your continued success,

James

Hesitation is the leading cause of roadkill

What’s the surest way to chip away at your self-esteem?  You guessed it: hesitation!  Join me as we look at how hesitation –a by-product of not being clear on what you want– leads to self-doubt and what you can do about it.

Motivation, personal development, and tips on raising your self confidence and self esteem by executive and life coach James Murphy

 

Are You Getting The Results You want?

Are You Feeling Stuck?

Are you not taking Action towards what you want to have or experience? Do you feel there is no Opportunity on the horizon for you? Have you ever found yourself Thinking too much?”

All of these traits: Action, Opportunity and Thinking have their place in either achieving your goals or being “Stuck In The Mud.” Looking at how they work together in a success cycle will help you achieve more and get “Unstuck.”

A simple equation to remember is: A = O = T = A 
Action = Opportunity = Thinking = Action

Taking Action leads to Opportunities in life but many times it leads to more than one possible opportunity to pursue. A client takes an action coming to a coaching session and may leave with 4-8 opportunities to pursue and achieve their goal. In order to ensure the best opportunity is taken to move towards the bigger picture goal, a person needs to Think and review the long term goal, evaluate all of the opportunities. The next step is to turn around and take focused Action again which will create more opportunities.

Sometimes a persons’ greatest strength can be their greatest weakness in this process. Attention to details and learning (Thinking) could lead to paralysis by analysis. Being creative and seeing all of the Opportunities can lead to confusion about where move forward and take Action. Taking massive Action without much strategic thinking can lead to getting off focus and procrastinating in doing something else that would in fact move you closer to the finish line.

 Are you stuck in Opportunities? Are there too many things you can do to achieve your dreams and goals? Do you dream big creative dreams, see opportunities at every turn? If that’s the case, STOP, remove yourself from the opportunities, review your long term goals and really THINK about what will take you closest to your long term goals, and then, take focused action.

Are you stuck in Thinking? Do you constantly feel you need to learn more, do more, be more, have more, or be in a different spot before you could possibly take action towards your goal? If that is the case, remember that you are perfect as you are in this moment, take the plunge into a focused action, appreciate what the experience will teach you, seize the new opportunities that arise and then come back to Thinking about what the next best step is. You will only gain the insight to make that decision by having the experience that comes from Action.

Are stuck taking Action? are your days filled with endless tasks and “To-Do” lists? Do you cross things off all day, and at the end of the day still feel like you got nothing accomplished? You need to slow down, STOP, and Think about the Actions you fear or are putting off for another day. It is the top one action out of every 10 on your list that will allow you to create the opportunities to move towards your goals. The remaining 9 are just distracting you from what’s truly important.

 What is your greatest strength; Action, Opportunity, or Thinking? Where are you stuck in this success cycle? Stretch outside of your limitations today and keep the cycle moving. As one of my favorite clients always says, “Let’s get fired up!”