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How To Find a Great Coach? Start With This Question.

No one wants a lemon. Find a great coach!

 

When I started coaching back in 1999, coaching wasn’t really that popular. People would ask me what I did for a living and I would say, “I’m a life coach with Tony Robbins” and about half of the time they would respond with, “so what do you coach? basketball, softball, football?”

Things have definitely changed in the last 20 years. It seems there are coaches everywhere; life coaches, health coaches, nutrition coaches, business coaches, real estate coaches, career coaches, sales coaches, marketing coaches, financial coaches and my wife and I even hired a “Baby Whisperer” coach when we needed some better strategies to help my baby girl to sleep through the night!

With all of the coaches looking for your business, sometimes it seems like car ads on TV. It can be hard to know who is a “great coach” versus a “not so great” coach. Who can a person trust when looking for help? After all, a person is not only putting their hard-earned money on the line, but more importantly, their mental & emotional health, thoughts, problems and the deep intimate details of their personal life!

With one question, you can find the best personal coach for you. The first time you talk to him or her, ask, “I want to hire you as my coach, when can we start?”

Their answer will tell you everything you need to know.

Let me explain. I am a Master Practitioner in the science of NLP, Time Line Therapy & Hypnosis. Those skills help people clear up deep emotional issues preventing them from success. Imagine a person coming to me and asking, “James, what’s a great book on NLP?”  If I was a mediocre coach, I would jump to conclusions or infer what you wanted and would respond with, The Structure of Magic” 

As a “great coach” I would respond with, “What is your outcome for reading a book on NLP?”  Once we figured that out, then I would respond based on your outcomes. For example, I might answer: “A great book on NLP & Sales is Persuasion Engineering.  For the entire NLP Practitioner training, look for The User’s Manual for the Brain and for a great NLP motivational book reach for Awaken the Giant Within by Tony Robbins.”

A great coach will work to understand you, your goals and your needs FIRST. A great coach will not jump to a conclusion, hence the response, “What is your outcome for the book?”

When it comes to hiring an executive coach or a life coach, a “not so great” coach will enroll you right there on the spot and say, “Sure, I would love to work with you!” But, how do they know that they even have the skills and tools necessary to help you achieve your goals? They don’t even know if the goals and problems you have are within the scope of their coaching practice.

The best coaches will respond with a “Before we proceed, what are your outcomes for coaching?” They will also offer some complimentary time to take you through some sort of process to uncover your goals and obstacles preventing your success. For instance in my coaching practice, I offer a complimentary, 60-minute, “Success-Now” session* to take you through a 5-Step Coaching Process (next week’s post). During this call, we go through your goals, obstacles and success strategies.

“Great coaches” aren’t just looking for clients to fill their practice, they are looking for successful clients. They take the time to understand the prospective client’s goals and obstacles. They determine if they have the right skills, tools and strategies to help that client create the changes they want. And once they know they are the right fit for what the client needs, they move forward. This is what makes the difference between an average coach and a great coach.

Finding a great coach can be a simple, easy process. Look for a personal coach who will spend time upfront with you before ever asking for your business. If he or she can’t take the time now to look at what your goals are and the obstacles you are facing, keep walking. You may end up paying for a coach that can’t deliver the results you want.

 

 

*If you know of anyone needing help and support to overcome the obstacles holding them back from more success in life, they can set up a complimentary “Success-Now” at www.evolutionforsuccess.com.

Make the most out of motivational seminars

Make the most out of going to motivational seminars by getting an executive coach to anchor your new habits

You might be wasting your money on motivational seminars and coaching unless you do this!

 

There is a HUGE gap in the market today between the experience you get from paying top dollar for motivational seminars from people like Tony Robbins®, The Millionaire Mind Intensives and the benefits you get from executive or personal coaching —even with top NLP trainers like Dr.’s Tad and Matt James and high priced executive coaches or life coaches.

Both have value and both have their place, but they do 2 entirely different things.

Motivational seminars and events are a ‘fish bowl’ for change. You are transported out of your current environment, place in an artificial one and ‘reprogrammed’ and then put back into your old life. Or, if you attend a powerful NLP training where you are intellectually taught NLP materials and have some simple exercises with partners, you will also create change in the ‘fishbowl’ manner.

The biggest problem is that while there may be some intense, emotional change during the event, once a person returns back home, eventually that fades away. Imagine a fish being taken out of his dirty fish bowl, put in clean water where he can finally breathe and then after a few days, is put back into the old water. Some healthy changes occurred while in the fresh water, but certainly not any long term lasting change. Using this analogy, the only way to get “healthy” is to pay to get in the clean water again for a few days somewhere in the future. Done often enough, and at close enough intervals, it’s possible to imagine that the changes might stick, but it’s impractical for most busy professionals.

Coaching can also be an effective tool and can be great to provide insight, awareness, strategies and accountability. However, the current ‘accepted’ coaching model is to never go into the past. After all, coaching isn’t therapy. The serious problem with coaching is that it only looks to create change by starting from where you are today. However, all change in behaviors happens when there is work done with the unconscious mind to clear up negative emotions and feelings from the past.

Imagine you have been writing a book called ‘your life.’ Using the traditional coaching methodologies, it’s like trying to create and write a new story in a journal that is already filled with past thoughts, stories and emotions! There is never really a clean page to start writing on. You never really start with a clean mental, emotional, physical and spiritual page in order to write something entirely new. Change can happen over the long term, but it can be laborious, take a long time and quite frustrating.

How can a person fill the gap? Go and take the seminar experience to have an emotional immersion, to have an experience of change and to learn the tools you can use back in your own ‘fishbowl.’ Then find an Executive Business Coach, like me with over 30,000 sessions who can work with you to continue having deep emotional releases AND teach you how to use the tools from the motivational seminars in your life every day! Solution for long term change solved!

My new program, Achieve Anything Now, brings all of the most powerful tools of NLP, Time Line Therapy® or Time Empowerment Techniques™ (MER mental emotional release) together in an easy monthly, weekly and daily process to release emotional issues from your past, create limitless opportunities and build powerful, results-driven, long term change into your life.

Call now for your complimentary, “Success-Now” session to see how you can, create the life of your dreams! (919) 745-7569

Do You Hate Hallmark Holidays? Unleash New Passion on Valentine’s Day!

Up the passion in your relationshipsIs it time to shake things up in your love life and create more passion, fun, and  intimacy?  Relationships can’t be sustained on past memories or with the same gifts year after year.  So step outside of the ‘Hallmark-Have-tos” and do something different this year!    

Tony Robbins® likes to say, “Your life is a direct reflection of the quality of questions you ask yourself every moment of the day.”  As an Executive Business Coach, one of the foundations of my practice is asking powerful, engaging questions.  So here are 3 simple questions that will unlock new passion in your relationship on Valentine’s Day this year.

Before Valentine’s Day, ask your partner these 3 questions and look for his or her response to each question.  Which one elicits a more emotional response? (Note: these are NLP-neuro linguistic programming based questions; use emotion!)

In order to know you are totally loved, is it necessary for you:

  1. To be taken places and bought things, or to be looked at in a certain way? 
  2. OR is it necessary for you to hear certain words or a certain tone of voice?
  3. OR is it necessary for you to be touched a certain way, held, or have some type of physical contact? 

Everyone has a preferred love strategy.  And the way to get your partner more motivated this Valentine’s Day is to make sure you love her in her way, not yours.  Relationships grow and real love happens when you give to your partner in their own “love language”. 

Based on your partner’s response, here are some simple tips:

LOOK:  If he or she responds more to being bought gifts, taken places, or being looked at in a certain way, focus your energy on going out to dinner, buying that special gift or presenting her with a bouquet of flowers.  Give him or her a visual representation of your love, whether it’s in the way you look at her all glammed up at dinner or in a physical reminder of how much she means to you.  

HEAR:  If on the other hand, your partner seems to care much more about your words, reach for your pen!  Your love note will hit its mark.  But don’t stop there.  Make a concerted effort to reach out throughout the day on that day and share your feelings. 

TOUCH:  If your partner is more of a touchy-feely person, you might want to skip the greeting card and reach for the massage oil!  In any case, make a point to connect with him or her in a physical way at some point in the day.  Snuggle first thing before waking up, hold her hand on the way to dinner, don’t keep your distance… Find a way to help her feel what she means to you.

Relationship Coaching to improve the passion in your relatiionshipsFor more ideas on loving your partner in their own Love Language, check out my other post on the 5 Love Languages

Stop the Hallmark insanity. Invest in your relationship and create your own passion this Valentine’s Day!  

…And guys, here is a coaching tip for you!  If “Talk” is her top Love Language, link a new habit with an existing habit.  Pick up a few extra cards, put them in your glove box and when you take your car for an oil check, they will be a reminder for you to create an impromptu Valentine’s Day for her. She deserves to be appreciated more than once a year!