The Secret Sauce: Executive Coaching, NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) & a background with Anthony Robbins®

What do you get when you combine a seasoned Executive Coach with over a decade of full time coaching experience, Anthony Robbins® training background, and an NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) specialization? …Proven Results!

Who hasn’t heard of Tony Robbins®?  Tall, huge smile, infomercials in the dead of the night at the smart of his career, massive change…

Anthony Robbins® is an award-winning motivational speaker,  international best-selling author, and a massively successful entrepreneur.  But first and foremost, Tony Robbins® is a world authority on the psychology of peak performance® as well as personal and professional turnarounds.  His unique understanding of people and human nature make Tony Robbins® the ultimate coach, and he has spent 3 decades helping others put into action the tools, strategies, and resources to create amazing results and extraordinary levels of personal fulfillment*.

As a former Anthony Robbins Personal Results Coach® for over 10 years, I have been able to master the psychology of achievement in relationships, finances, time management, health, and most importantly emotional mastery.

By combining these tools and strategies with the sciences of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Time Line Therapy® , Neuro-Associative Conditioning, as well as hypnosis when appropriate, the gap between knowing and doing disappears  –thereby creating INSTANT and LASTING CHANGE.

You can achieve your personal and business goals faster and easier!  The choice is yours and I invite you to take the first step and invest in yourself now.

To your continued success,

James Murphy
Executive Life Coach
*I would encourage anyone to attend any of Tony’s phenomenal live events and immerse yourself in his audio programs.  To learn more about Anthony Robbins®, visit his website at www.tonyrobbins.com

What did you see?

What did you see?

Isn’t it interesting how two people can share a life event together and come away with two different experiences?

In the last few months, Emmanuelle and I have been touring our local charter and public schools in preparation for Isabelle’s entry in Kindergarten. As we were touring one of the public school playgrounds, we saw about a half dozen trailers in back of the school. As we passed, Emmanuelle and I looked at them and thought, “It must be horrible to have a trailer for your 4th and 5th grade classroom? It would be cramped, isolated from the school and hot in the summer months.”

As if she had been listening and reading the parents minds, the school guide informed us that the upper level classes loved the trailers. They saw them as a rite of passage growing up from the younger kids and took a lot of pride in them. As if on cue, kids poured out of the trailers to change classes. They were laughing, joking, and having fun. Their attitudes reflected exactly what the guide had just stated!

This week, Isabelle hit another milestone. She discovered that she could be dropped off at the front door of her kindergarten school, “like a big girl” so that Emmanuelle and I would not have to walk her in. As she stood proud in her newfound independence, it was all that I could do to keep a smile on my face and be happy for her. She is our last child and I love every last walk into school with her. I was already missing that big, goodbye hug at her classroom door.

One of the greatest gifts we have in life is to choose what meaning to attach to the events that shape our lives. How you choose to label an experience and the meaning you attach to it will directly impact the quality of your emotional health and life.

The way to work through any disempowering emotional state is to ultimately put an empowering meaning towards it. This is a very common pattern in movies. The hero/heroine’s mentor or right hand man dies and as they speak their last words they utter, “Be true to yourself, fight for what is right, and help those less fortunate than you.” or, “don’t let me die for nothing, catch that bad guy.” In that emotional moment, the hero has a choice to attach an empowering meaning to the event, it motivates the main character to overcome life’s problem, and achieve more greatness than they ever thought was possible.

How can you turn loss into gain, pain into pleasure? Put an empowering meaning to it! I love to see Isabelle’s independence as she grows up because in 10 years when the boys start calling, that independence will be a very important trait for me to rely on. The confidence and pride that students feel by “moving up” and earning the right to have a “higher” social status will serve them well as they make the transitions to Middle School, High School and College. That is how confidence and self worth are born, bred and raised. I hope you continue to see things differently this week and find more empowering meanings for your life experiences.

MARCH Special: By the way, if you know anyone who needs support hiring the right person for the job. Have them check out the Sure Hire Behavioral Assessment at www.surehirenow.com
They can enjoy $50 off the regular price of $399 and you can receive a $25 Gift Card to any store of your choice as a “Thank You” for your referral.

Be sure to check out my website: www.evolutionforsuccess.com soon for an exciting new 2-CD release on Parenting, due out April 2009.

Please pass this on to anyone who needs an encouraging “Thought” this week. They can sign up for the “Thought of the Week” by sending me an email at james@evolutionforsuccess.com and place “subscribe” in the subject line. I never share my email list with anyone. Your privacy is of utmost importance to me.

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"Two Roads Converged…"

“Two Roads Converged…”

Last week, I had the distinct pleasure of taking Isabelle to school. As we came up to the stoplight leading out of our neighborhood, the line was very long and I guessed that it would take about 3 light changes before we would be able to turn left onto the main street. We were looking at a ten minute wait in line which meant she would be late for school.

Instinct took over and I quickly merged into the right hand lane. I drove past the long line of cars straight up to the light. At this point, the only way for us to go was the “wrong” way. We had to turn right instead of left, which took us farther away from her school. Isabelle immediately realized we were going the wrong direction and asked, “Daddy, why are we were going the “wrong” way?”

I turned right, drove 100 yards and turned around in a different neighborhood entrance. Almost immediately, I was able to make the left hand turn onto the main street going towards Isabelle’s school. As I drove, I explained to Isabelle that I was taking a “secret short cut” to school and even though it seemed like the “wrong” way, sometimes going the opposite way of everyone else was quicker. We would have to experiment and see if it was true. In this case, it was true, much to her delight. She even waved at the line of cars as we passed them, who were still waiting for the light to turn green.

A similar experience occurred at the Atlanta airport last Friday. I was waiting for my return flight and needed to stretch my legs one last time before boarding time. As I walked farther and farther down the terminal wing away from the main hub, I noticed that not only did the people traffic lighten up but the drink prices for Coke and water dropped with every store. It was also amazing that the Coke prices were lower than the water prices. Isn’t it ironic how what is better for you is sometimes more expensive and what seems easier, less expensive and more convenient is sometimes not as good for you?

In today’s world, with the media news, business forecasts, stock market news, and radio ads, you may need to get away from the mainstream, take a walk away from the mainstream to where it is not as crowded. It is good to notice where opportunity lies and more often than not, it will be away from popular idealism. Making a little bit better investment on what you are feeding your mind, body and spirit can make a big difference in your health. It can also provide you the edge that will make a small difference in your life today and a very BIG difference in your life in the long run. Make the investment in yourself that will yield results for you mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. If you take the initiative to walk a little farther away from the crowds you may be surprised at the deals you will find.

This morning Isabelle asked me if we were taking the “secret short cut” to school. It took me a moment to understand that she had changed her association from us going to school the “wrong” way to the “secret short cut” way. Separate yourself from the rest of the people who are waiting in line for something different to happen. That is the secret to getting ahead. All of the answers you need to overcome any challenge in your life right now are out there waiting for you. Be courageous, brave and try going the “wrong” way once in a while. We will see you at the “secret short cut” turnaround and we’ll be sure and wave “Hi!”

If you know someone who needs an encouraging “Thought” this week. Please feel free to forward this email. You can sign up for the weekly, “Thought” at www.evolutionforsuccess.com We value your privacy and keep our email database private and confidential. Thank you for reading!

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Don’t Smash My Fruit!

Don’t Smash My Fruit!

My little one and I were at the grocery store the other day and had the most wonderful and frustrating experience. The gentleman in the produce section was courteous, helpful, and went out of his way to help us with our shopping. He gave my daughter a free banana and gave us a quick National Geographic lesson on how monkeys peel bananas upside down. (Yes, it was cool and really works!)

The young lady bagging our groceries provided us with the exact opposite experience. She was deep into a conversation with the cashier and as she reached out to place the bag of fruit into the cart she missed, and dropped it straight onto the floor! She picked it up and the next bag into the cart contained maple syrup, butter, and salsa. It landed right on top of my already bruised fruit! In my head I was screaming, “Don’t smash my fruit!”

I have to admit that “smashing my fruit” is a pet peeve of mine and this was the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back. So, keeping my emotions in check I stated, “Excuse me, next time could you please not put the heavy stuff on top of my fruit?” The bagger ended her conversation, turned a quarter turn away from me, folded her arms, stared at the floor and promptly ignored me. So, I stated again, “Excuse me ma’am, next time please don’t set the heavy stuff on the fruit, that bruises it.” The lady stayed turned away with no eye contact and stone cold silence. I was shocked at her ignoring me.

By the time I reached the car I was very emotionally charged. I was frustrated at the way I was treated as a customer and mad at myself for all of the times in the past I didn’t say anything when my fruit was smashed. As I slammed the trunk closed, all I could think was, “THEY SMASHED MY FRUIT!” At this point, I was feeling a healthy amount of internal conflict between the need to gain other’s acceptance and approval or the voice that said, “stick up for what you believe in, that was horrible customer service!”

It was a perfect moment for some deep change. In any heightened emotional moment if you find a way to resolve the conflict inside, new beliefs will be formed at a very deep level.

In that moment, I made a huge decision to interrupt my old pattern of behavior. I pushed away all of the old thoughts and beliefs that were running around in my head and marched directly to the customer service desk.

I approached the manager and proceeded to tell her what was on my mind, “I just wanted to let you know about my shopping experience today. I had the most wonderful experience with the gentleman in the produce department. He went above and beyond in his customer service. My checkout experience was the direct opposite. The lady bagging the groceries dropped my fruit on the floor and then smashed them again when she put the other heavy bags on top. When I asked her as politely as I could to please not put the heavy stuff on the fruit she completely ignored me, twice. I just wanted to give you some feedback on my shopping experience today.” The manager thanked me for my feedback and said that she would make a note of it.

My voice and body were shaking with emotion as I left the store. In that emotionally intense moment I was able to anchor in some new powerful beliefs.

First and foremost, act in integrity with yourself. If I would have said something the first time my fruit was smashed I wouldn’t have been in such an intense place.

Give feedback so that others can take responsibility for their actions. Love the person enough to give feedback in a non-threatening way by addressing the behavior, NOT THE PERSON. As long as it is done without anger or malicious intent, it is for the other person to take or leave. I do not know what came from the experience for her on her end but she was the one to take responsibility for her actions from there.

Next time someone smashes your fruit, I wish you continued success in acting with integrity and giving constructive feedback to others.

If you need some support because too many people are smashing your fruit, interrupt your pattern! Call TODAY for your evolution towards greater success. Commit to 3 or more coaching sessions in the month of October and/or order a Sure Hire Assessment and receive 10% off!

Breaking the Rules!

Breaking the Rules

In today’s hectic world there is no shortage of emotional intensity. There is plenty of stress, frustration, depression, anxiety, and unhappiness. Fear seems to have begun to take hold caused in party by the recent fluctuations in the housing and stock markets. If you have any doubts these disempowering emotional states are present, just ask any customer service representative, listen to the news, or just drive home in rush hour traffic in the left hand lane.

Most people who come to coaching are looking for the greater empowering emotional intensity that is sometimes hard to find in our everyday life: peace, success, achievement, happiness, and love. Many find their lives have become flat, lonely, without purpose.

Having a purpose in life is an interesting ideology that many people spend their entire life pursuing. But often by living life everyday, we build our habits which develop our limitations and beliefs about what we can and can not do, without consciously thinking about it. Many of you reading this now may be saying to yourself, “I don’t have time for meditating on my purpose in life; with three kids, a full time job, a spouse that works, and a household to keep in order, who has time for purpose?”

Well, I propose we break out of that cycle. We’re going to do this in two parts: The first part is as follows – this week I would love for you to repeatedly ask yourself this question. Here is it:

“When you were younger, what was so fun, exciting, and adventurous that you were willing to break Mom and Dad’s rules, even at the risk of being punished?” When you were a kid, what did you get in trouble for wanting to become? What did you get in trouble for doing? What did you dream about and never tell anyone? What would you have done that was worth the spanking, grounding, or loss of car privileges you would have received?

OK, so that was more than one question… What came into your mind as you were asking yourself those questions?

One of the problems with living life as an adult is that many times we have become the parent of ourselves. Oh, NO. When was the last time you were willing to go out and do something so unexpected and crazy that even if you got in trouble with your “parental” self the experience would be worth it? What do you want to sneak out of your bedroom window at night to do that would be worth the risk of getting caught when you got home?

Now here’s the second part – pick one of them and go do it now. Add some joy, enthusiasm, adventure, fun, and playfulness to your life. It will make the routines of life, kids, career, and finances easier to manage when you wake up Monday morning. You will smile, feeling great inside, knowing that it was totally worth it. Live life to its fullest, dream big dreams, break your own rules for yourself and do what is worth getting in “trouble” for!

Keep in mind, however, this statement has a very important caveat: Only break the rules doing something that is truly good for you, those closest to you, your community and the world as a whole. Clearly I am not advocating the type of activities that would cause irreparable harm to your finances, your relationships or your standing in the community – and definitely nothing that lands you in jail! But lead life joyously and a little outside your self-defined lines – allow yourself to play music full blast in the shower as you sing along at the top of your lungs, eat that occasional ice cream cone licking your fingers as it melts, take the kids out in the middle of the rain storm to stomp in puddles… Whatever brings that child-like happiness and joy back into your life!

Really, it’s ok…. I give you permission! It’s time you did too!

We are two thirds of the way through this year. If you need help finding something to do in order to “break the rules that your parental self” has developed, CALL NOW! You need some support!

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Double the Coins on Days Not Ending in “Y”

Double the Coins on Days Not Ending in “Y”

It is always interesting to go back to small town Iowa after having lived in San Diego, Denver, and Phoenix for so many years. I recently found myself back in Iowa visiting relatives and found these thoughts waiting for me.

As I was out running on a Sunday morning, I passed the local car wash which was sporting the sign, “New Change Machine, Double the Coins on Days Not Ending in “Y”. I reread the sign then mentally reviewed the 7 days of the week in my mind; Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Wouldn’t you know, all of them end in “Y” – no extra coins for me! I mentally pictured an old farmer, rocking on his front porch, laughing and saying “Made you look!”

As I smiled to myself, I couldn’t help but think…”They got me – who doesn’t want the opportunity to get more for nothing?” As I continued to run, I examined my initial reaction to the sign – We all want something for nothing; the promise of a bigger return for less effort. We want huge results for minimal input into an endeavor.

I love word play and metaphors, and the more I thought about it, the less “Double the Coins on Days Not Ending in “Y” worked for me. So, I found a way to learn something from that sign – I changed it to “Double the Coins on Days Not Ending in WHY“. Why? I am glad that you asked. (I told you I loved word-play!)

The brain is hard-wired to find an answer (consciously or unconsciously) for every question we ask it. Many times in life when things don’t go our way we mentally ask the question “Why…?” This can be a pitfall in our thinking – Why questions do not serve us. “Why…” questions lead us into developing explanations, justifications and formation of belief patterns that are usually not empowering. Most of the time “Why…” questions lead us to thoughts that do not help us achieve or take action. Here are some examples of these negative questions….
• Why can’t I do this?
• Why couldn’t I remember that?
• Why does this always happen to me?
• Why do people always do this?
• Why can’t they just…? Why not?

So, I propose you can get “Double Your Coins Back on the Days Not Ending in “Why” by replacing those “Why…” questions with “How…” questions. “How…” questions lead to possibility. They trigger the mind to pull up past references to support where you are now and where you want to be in the future. Some examples of these positive questions are:
• How can I continue to feel prosperous today?
• How can I see the bright side of this problem?
• How can I feel better about myself and what I want to do today?
• How can these problems be resolved today in my favor?
• How is everyone I meet today going to support me in moving towards my goals?
• How can I find the answer to the problem?

“Why…” questions never serve us because they lead to the development of limiting beliefs and poor thought patterns, whereas “How…” questions allow us to take our personal power back and find solutions. Ask better questions of your brain and your brain will give you better answers. Have fun this week asking more “How…” questions to unleash your genius and uncover your potential!

If you are looking at the world through “why” colored glasses and need a change, CALL NOW! During the month of August, all new coaching clients will receive 10% off of each coaching session or the Sure Hire Behavioral Assessment thru August 31, 2008. We also have a great referral system, so tell your friends and business colleagues who need to get that “edge” to call now!

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Zipping Along…

Zipping along in Life…

This weekend was a wonderful life experience. We went Treetop Soaring up near Durango, CO. Soaring, also called Zip Lining, is a wonderful experience. You get hooked up in a climbing harness, clipped onto a long stainless steel cable, and then slide from one tree to another. The height above and distance between the trees, and the speeds that you reach varies throughout the course.

At about the third tree, the Soaring guide clipped me in and asked me, “Is this exciting and intense, or what?” I was shocked by me response, “It is nice and wonderful to be here with my family, but I have done a lot of things in my life like this and it is not adrenaline pumping or anything. After all, I have gone skydiving, been through the US Army Airborne School, rappelled out of helicopters in the Air Assault School, gone rock climbing, jumped off of a telephone pole and done a 50 foot Fire walk with Tony Robbins.” The guy just kind of looked at me with a blank look on his face and said, “Oh.”

As I zipped from one tree to the next, for some reason my response bothered me. I work very hard to not live my life on past experiences, yet here I was handing out my resume of “To-Do’s” in my life. It was not from a significance standpoint either. Up to that point, I truly did not think it was that emotionally intense of an experience.

I started to look at what was behind my list of adrenaline filled activities response. Then it hit me. There was still a little part of me that thought, “It has to be big and intense if it is going to mean something all.” And, I thought that I had gotten rid of that one. Darn!

Most people in life want that Lotto win experience. That one BIG thing that will change life forever, make us more, lead to a tremendous breakthrough in life. However, most people never win the lottery, waiting for that is poor psychology. The way to true emotional wealth is to accumulate riches in the manner of investing your 10% every paycheck. People who invest 10% over the life of their working careers often are farther ahead at retirement than people who wait for “the Big One” to come in and then invest it in one lump sum. The majority of people who play the lottery never win.

Wouldn’t it be a much more fulfilling life if we celebrated at every paycheck? Over the course of 45 years if you celebrated your wealth at every paycheck, (assuming 26 paychecks per year) that would mean that you would get to celebrate 1,170 times versus that one lottery win. Which one leads to greater overall emotional health and success?

So, from then on, I reframed and experienced every single zip line one at a time, appreciated the uniqueness of each one, sharing each one with my wife and son, and the people that I was participating with. Life does not have to be big and grand to be meaningful. That was a lesson that eluded me in my younger years. Now, I just appreciate both experiences. When you add celebrating life daily over and over and combine it with the lottery experiences of life the world takes on an even brighter look.

By the way, I did experience Murphy’s Law and ate my words on the next zip line section. It was on one of the smallest segments of the zip line course called Aspen alley that I got the adrenaline rush that was my lottery win. Ironically, it was not on the 1,400 foot zip line that was the grand finale of the day. I love the irony of life.

There is so much to celebrate in your life today! Even with the down market, financial woes, physical aches and pains, so much of life is still a blessing and gift. I challenge you to find those gems in your life today, collect and polish them, and share them with others. It may not seem like much today but over time their meaning and intensity will grow exponentially and you will have led a rich life. Celebrate the special moments of today because today is the day you won the lottery.

To your continued success,

James

Please pass this message on to anyone who may need to find a little something to celebrate in their life today. If you are having trouble celebrating, Call Now

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What is DOPHOF?

What is D.O.P.H.O.F?

I recently had the pleasure of getting reacquainted with an old rock climbing buddy whom I had not seen in about 8 years. From the moment he walked up to my front door it seemed like only 8 minutes since I saw him last. We greeted each other with the same emotional intensity and friendship.

We covered the ground floor topics of the good old times rock climbing, the happenings of mutual acquaintances, the height of our travel experiences and then as the night wore on we dove beneath the surface and shared some of our personal history. It was the deep stuff we shared about our past, emotional healing, and how those events were shaping our lives and futures today.

I really felt for my friend as he shared the pain of his past and was excited beyond measure for the peace and happiness he is experiencing now. Hearing about the depth of some of his pain and the height of his peace now in life, the acronym D.O.P.H.O.F. came into my mind.

When we are committed to face the Depth Of Pain we feel in life and overcome it, the emotional Height of Our Future will always be greater. The foundation is always the first part of the building that is worked on. Without a solid foundation any building will fall. The Empire State Building foundation goes down 55 feet. However, that foundation supports a magnificent building that rises to 1,454 feet.

The same is true of every human being. We are all magnificent buildings reaching for the sky. Just like the New York Skyline, each of us is just a part of a bigger beautiful world. Remember to stop and take a look at is what is below the surface with yourself and others. Help others to keep on believing in themselves, heal past hurts, learn to forgive and love more. Always work to be aware of what is below ground, face that emotional intensity and the unresolved emotional issues from your past. I know the pain can be intense at times, however, the pleasure you receive from working through an issue will allow you to build a life higher than you ever imagined and you will have the foundation to hold it in place. You will continue to be an inspiration to others and share something special with those other buildings around you.