What did you see?

What did you see?

Isn’t it interesting how two people can share a life event together and come away with two different experiences?

In the last few months, Emmanuelle and I have been touring our local charter and public schools in preparation for Isabelle’s entry in Kindergarten. As we were touring one of the public school playgrounds, we saw about a half dozen trailers in back of the school. As we passed, Emmanuelle and I looked at them and thought, “It must be horrible to have a trailer for your 4th and 5th grade classroom? It would be cramped, isolated from the school and hot in the summer months.”

As if she had been listening and reading the parents minds, the school guide informed us that the upper level classes loved the trailers. They saw them as a rite of passage growing up from the younger kids and took a lot of pride in them. As if on cue, kids poured out of the trailers to change classes. They were laughing, joking, and having fun. Their attitudes reflected exactly what the guide had just stated!

This week, Isabelle hit another milestone. She discovered that she could be dropped off at the front door of her kindergarten school, “like a big girl” so that Emmanuelle and I would not have to walk her in. As she stood proud in her newfound independence, it was all that I could do to keep a smile on my face and be happy for her. She is our last child and I love every last walk into school with her. I was already missing that big, goodbye hug at her classroom door.

One of the greatest gifts we have in life is to choose what meaning to attach to the events that shape our lives. How you choose to label an experience and the meaning you attach to it will directly impact the quality of your emotional health and life.

The way to work through any disempowering emotional state is to ultimately put an empowering meaning towards it. This is a very common pattern in movies. The hero/heroine’s mentor or right hand man dies and as they speak their last words they utter, “Be true to yourself, fight for what is right, and help those less fortunate than you.” or, “don’t let me die for nothing, catch that bad guy.” In that emotional moment, the hero has a choice to attach an empowering meaning to the event, it motivates the main character to overcome life’s problem, and achieve more greatness than they ever thought was possible.

How can you turn loss into gain, pain into pleasure? Put an empowering meaning to it! I love to see Isabelle’s independence as she grows up because in 10 years when the boys start calling, that independence will be a very important trait for me to rely on. The confidence and pride that students feel by “moving up” and earning the right to have a “higher” social status will serve them well as they make the transitions to Middle School, High School and College. That is how confidence and self worth are born, bred and raised. I hope you continue to see things differently this week and find more empowering meanings for your life experiences.

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Please pass this on to anyone who needs an encouraging “Thought” this week. They can sign up for the “Thought of the Week” by sending me an email at james@evolutionforsuccess.com and place “subscribe” in the subject line. I never share my email list with anyone. Your privacy is of utmost importance to me.

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Top Ten Empowering Emotional States

by James Murphy
Peak Performance Coach
Master Practitioner: NLP, Time Line
Therapy™ and Hypnosis

Motion creates emotion and mastering our emotional states is the key to success in life. Emotions are like sound waves. Each carries its own vibration level. You have experienced this at sometime in your life. For example, what is the energy level of a funeral home versus the energy level in a Superbowl or Final Four basketball game?

The vibration level of an emotion has similar characteristics found in atoms. In an atom there is a nucleus that consists of protons and neutrons. Electrons rotate in orbit around the nucleus at varying distances. The greater the energy level of the atom the farther away from the nucleus the electrons are able to orbit. Similarly, there are more electrons in orbit for higher energy atoms. This creates a greater energy field around the nucleus. This relationship is directly related to the Law of Attraction. The greater our emotional states the greater our sphere of attraction and the more a person will create or manifest. The more negative the thoughts, actions, and energy levels; the less of a sphere of attraction a person will have. If the negative emotions are strong enough the reverse process happens. A person will tend to repel what they most want and get what they “don’t want.” Our thoughts and emotions are like a magnet. At any moment we are either attract to us more of what we want or repelling what we want and attracting what we do not want. What are the primary emotions that will allow us to have the greatest levels of energy, ability to attract what we want and most successful life?

The Top Nine Empowering Emotions Ranked According to Energy Levels (Power VS Force by David Hawkins)
1. Enlightenment ~ Ineffable
2. Peace ~ Bliss
3. Joy ~ Serenity
4. Love ~ Reverence
5. Reason ~ Understanding
6. Acceptance ~ Forgiveness
7. Willingness ~ Optimism
8. Neutrality ~ Trust
9. Courage ~ Affirmation

The Top Ten Empowering Emotions for a Successful Life
1. Love
2. Gratitude/Appreciation
3. Curiosity
4. Excitement and Passion
5. Determination
6. Flexibility
7. Confidence
8. Cheerfulness
9. Health
10. Contribution/Giving

If you are experiencing any of the Top Ten Disempowering Emotions listed in my previous blog there are two solutions to get to one of the more empowering emotional states listed above.

1. Change your perception. Attach a different meaning to the situation that created or triggered the negative emotional state. In NLP, we ask the question, “What is there to learn from this, the learning of which will allow me to let go of these negative emotions easily and effortlessly? This will lead to you develop new internal beliefs, value systems and rules for the future.
2. Change your procedure. This is an external approach to take a different action in the future. Stop putting yourself in the situation where the disempowering emotional state is triggered. A person creates a change in their environment to produce a new or different emotional state.

The most important rule of all when it comes to experiencing different emotional states in our life is that you must give first before you receive. If you want more love in your life you need to practice giving love first. It is the choice to put yourself in motion and attaching a positive meaning to the action that creates the emotional state that you most desire. Sitting on the front porch swing waiting to get some energy to go exercise and walk will never produce greater health and vitality. You need to choose to get up and go walk and find a way to mentally focus on it being a good thing to create the new levels of health and vitality that you are looking for.

Most individuals tend to feel a core group of 10-12 emotions and do not deviate from them except on a rare occasion, like vacation. To experience more of life and change the emotional states you feel consistently takes work and practice. The hard work and dedication will pay off in the end with a better quality of life and you will attract more of what you desire.

Call or email for more information on how you can continue to control your emotional life instead of it controlling you.

To our continued success,