Having a Tough Day? If you are, chances are you are acting in one of these different behavior patterns. The science of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), holds that a person is not their behavior. However, if you’re having a tough day — and even the best of us has been there at one point or another–, it is time to change your behavior to get some different results.
See if your bad day is a result of one of the following behavioral patterns, take responsibility for where you are and create a Powerful Change!
1- Victim: the victim plays the blame game, noticeable by a very low tolerance for handling the problems and challenges in life. He or she is reluctant to take responsibility, pushing it off instead on others. Often, feeling that they are a “victim of circumstance”, they don’t believe they have any control over the circumstances they find themselves in.
SOLUTION: Ask, “What do I want to have? And, what do I have direct control/influence over in order to make that happen?” Take any small action now and make sure to appreciate the action taken, no matter how small.
2- Quitter: quitters tend to be out of touch with self and others around them. Quitters hide out in the shadows away from the group. They are easily distracted, do not commit, believe the effort is not worth the reward, and talk themselves out of what they most desire.
SOLUTION: Confront yourself with a detailed plan and get in touch with your emotions around following through with it
3- Wizard of Oz: The Wizard of Oz’s believe that there is reward without action. They believe in the “Secret” and the “Law of Attraction” If they just believe with enough will power, things will happen. They believe in shaping the future but they just “hope” it will become so. They believe the answer is out there, somewhere over the rainbow, somehow, some way it is going to happen.
SOLUTION: Get grounded in the reality of the situation now and add Action to the optimism and hope that good things will come. Engage in the pursuit of the worthy goal along with the beliefs that somewhere, somehow, your dreams will come true.
4- Worry Wart: Fear takes over the worry wart. They focus most of their energy on what may happen, instead of looking at what they want to make happen. Fear means a person is not prepared for something they perceive may happen in the future. Many times there is too much focus on what they “don’t” want to happen.
SOLUTION: Say it the way you want the future to be. Engage in a little more of the “over the rainbow” traits. Take action and engage some faith and hope that your actions will bring you the results you most desire and if needed, build a back-up plan to deal with what you fear might happen in the future.
5- Run-a-Way: the Run-a-way is stuck in a place of Busy-ness instead of taking the time to focus on what is most important in the Busi-ness of their life. They take massive action without a clear focus on the long term outcomes. They engage in what they know they can do easily and effortlessly in the short term and never take on the real problems they are facing.
SOLUTION: build a vision so you know your long term outcome. Brain dump everything in your mind that you should do, could do, need to do and ought to do. Focus on the top 10% of those items that will bring you 90% of your success. Hint: What you are fearing and procrastinating the most, or what seems the hardest, is the action you should be working towards achieving.
6- Actor: the actor works to show that everything is always perfect in their world. For them, it is a challenge to face the truth and live in a way that others may not approve. Actors do not have their own opinions and are always agreeable to what others do. They have to keep up with Jones’ and will do anything to put on a good show for others.
SOLUTION: Stop believing what others think you should be, do and have and define it for yourself. Be brave and bold within yourself. Find and reconnect with your own truth, your personal mission or purpose in life. Forget what everyone else thinks of you and your public persona. Engage and act your personal truth. If you are effective with that, you will be causing some talk and speculation.
7- Bull in a China Shop: The bull keeps on looking for breakthroughs but is never truly transformed because they are not celebrating their own results and what is precious in their life now! Bulls have a hard time being satisfied with themselves. They think being the strongest and showing it off is the only way to win. They also seek approval from being the top dog and will do anything to get there.
SOLUTION: become satisfied with yourself for who you are and where you are on your path of life right now…stop, enjoy, and smell the roses like Ferdinand the Bull!
If you are having a bad day, chances are, one of these NLP personas will hold the key to getting you to a better day! Remember that you are not your behavior. If you don’t like your results, you have a choice!
Failure, anger, and frustration most often signal the opportunity to stop and ask, “which one of these traits am I stuck in?” You probably already know which of these you tend to gravitate to. I encourage you to not have the goal or intention of never being there again, instead, just find quicker and quicker ways to move through the disempowering states you do encounter. Flip those bad days around! Chose to move through these behavior patterns and come out the other side, better, stronger and more successful!