You are probably wondering, “Is it an oyster that he is talking about this week? Is it an ointment? Is it something sexy from that shop down the street?” Wrong answers, try again.
One morning last week I found myself in a deep conversation with my wife and it was going down a direction that I was a little scared to go. We were not arguing, because we never argue in our relationship, we just have “opportunities for discussion.” (or at least, that’s what I choose to call them!)
We were having an opportunity to discuss something that brings all couples closer together, our finances. There is an old psychological test that was performed where they put a man in a room with a crying baby and his first reaction was to leave the room but for a woman their first reaction is to soothe the child. Well, my first reaction when the opportunity for discussion on finances came up was to not only leave the room, but run like away like Roger Bannister.
But, instead of just listening to my wife, (some guys only pretend to listen), I found myself engaging in the discussion and really disclosing some personal fears, ideas, and thoughts on the subject that I had never shared with her before. As for that matter, I had never even really stopped long enough myself to verbalize them to myself.
As we worked our way through the discussion and arrived at a solution was a deeper level of trust, respect, and commitment to one another. We both had a deeper understanding of what the other really thought, felt and believed. We accomplished this level of deep connection by providing the one another the chance to be safe while opening up and sharing.
I have always loved my wife dearly and it seems there is a pattern that I am most attracted to her after our opportunities for discussion. And reflecting on it now, it does not really seem to matter whether it was a topic that we agree on or not. Whether it is something that makes up both laugh, smile and enjoy, or something that brings frustration, challenge and disagreement, it doesn’t really matter.
It seems to me that the greatest aphrodisiac is communication. Yes, simply stated, open, safe, talking and listening. Truthful talking and listening with respect for your lovers thoughts, ideas, and deepest feelings. When was the last time you your and your lover talked in a deep intimate moment? When was the last time you really talked and listened in an intimate setting?
I encourage you to do so this week. See what happens! You may find yourself more attracted to your mate than ever. Don’t just listen…engage your partner in an intimate discussion about anything. I will leave the rest of the details to you.