Dealing With Negative Emotions: 3 Solutions to Keep Your Word

Dealing with negative emotions is a universal experience.  In last week’s blog post, I wrote that,

“…you will always have to overcome some combination of the following challenging emotional states to keep your word: fatigue, discouragement, loneliness, overwhelm, doubt, nervousness, humiliation, frustration, resentment, powerlessness, anger,  feeling inadequate or imcompetent, and even jealousy of others.

The power of self-confidence and keeping your word is learning to embrace these emotional states as they come up, and accept them as appropriate and warranted given the goal that you are pursuing. If you stop trying to run away from these negative emotions,  you are already half way towards the successful completion of your goal. The power comes through pushing through those disempowering states. Even better, get excited about them! Anticipate these emotions and welcome them as part of a natural component on your path to victory.”

Here are three powerful ways to learn to embrace these negative emotions and use them to your advantage.

1-  Learn to love them.

My wife and I both love to spend time together and feel grateful that I work from home. When she goes to Paris to see her family or on her yearly girls beach trip, I go into single parent mode. One way I have been able to deal with the frustration, overwhelm and tiredness when she is away to adopt the belief that, “I love missing her.” Focusing on the positive side of missing her reminds me of why I love being with her on a day to day basis. This leads me to positive thoughts and memories and my mood changes for the better.  Very often you can take a disempowering emotion, and turn it upside down by giving it a new meaning.  That new association can then help you move past the moment and discomfort.

2-  Journal the answer to this question,

“what is there to learn from this feeling of ___________, the learning of which, will allow me to let go of it, easily and effortlessly?”

There is a reason “why” we feel disempowering emotional states but most of the time we don’t stop to ask ourselves “why.” I like to say that disempowering emotional states are indicators of where we are incongruent between our head and heart. Clearing up the conflict between what we think and how we feel, allows us to find a new belief and action to take that are more congruent.

3-  Focus on what you want to create.

Shifting your focus to “creating what you want to have” will often times push disempowering emotional states away. If you shift your focus to what you want to create by taking an action, your focus will shift to a more empowering place. If you have a hard time exercising, shift your focus to what you want to create by exercising; an energetic, healthy, vibrant body where you feel good about yourself. If you are pushing back on your taxes, shift your focus to what you want to create by completing them; a new financial future where you manage your money responsibly and reap the rewards for it. Shifting your thoughts away from what you’re feeling in the moment towards what you want to create in the future will help you work through disempowering emotions.

What are some of your strategies for dealing with negative emotions and moving forward through adversity?  Please comment below!

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Feeling Negative? Give It Everything You’ve Got!

Whether it’s in your business, your personal life or your relationships, are you choosing to play at a 100%?Are you focusing on the positive or are you filled with negative thoughts

Sometimes I get a client on the phone who is so set on being negative, that no matter how many strategies you work with them to implement, none really hold water. It seems that at every twist and turn they are there to shoot the horse before the gates open and gets a chance to run the race.

These are great moments to play a little exercise with them. I tell them, “I don’t care whether you complain all day or are optimistic all day, just play life at 100%.”

At first they like the idea, then I get down to really explaining it.

  • If they are thinking down on themselves, then they ought to really get excited about it and tell everyone how they are such a loser; they should be happy to share that fact with the world, and really play full out!
  • If they are a complainer, then I tell them to really get serious about complaining. I mean, tell the whole office they are the best complainer in the business, prove it to everyone, and get that approval for being the biggest voice of dissent in the office. Tell the customers too, because after all, they have to go for it at 100% emotional involvement.
  • If they are going to be the last person promoted because of their bad attitude, then they better walk around the office like the proudest peacock in the pen, strutting their stuff and playing at 100%.

As you have guessed by now, by the end of the exercise most people just choose to step up, find a different, more empowering perspective and be more positive in their approach to things.

When you approach life promising to play full out, and do so consciously, very few people take the strategy of making a fool of themselves with 100% negativity. It puts things into perspective when life is at 100%.

Play and consciously live a full life at 100% in all that you do. When at work, work hard. When at home with the family and spouse, live and love hard! When tuckered out on the weekend and you need a little down time watching the football game or going to get a manicure/pedicure/massage; relax, enjoy and play at 100%.

Life is much more fulfilling when you strive to live in a “peak state” in all you do. If you have any doubt, check out this clip of Tony Robbins. He’s perfected the art of putting himself in a peak state!

And, next time you see the office grouch coming along, suggest that they do it “correctly”. Tell them, “If you are going to have that attitude, at least play life full out, at 100% and be proud of who you are!” Help them to really be conscious of their attitude and not be half-way about it! Celebrate the fact they are the biggest whiner in the office, tell everyone about it, have a party for them! See how long they stay that way and how hard they work to prove you wrong!


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