Where’s the B.F.F.?

Have you heard the acronym B.F.F., which stands for Best Friends Forever? I learned about it last week while watching the last 5 minutes of Paris Hilton’s reality show season finale. She bypassed the two finalists and chose someone that had been previously eliminated as her new BFF. The guy was so excited and in shock that he just couldn’t take the excitement of being picked. He went on and on about how he would be the Best BFF ever and she would never need another BFF, and BFF this and that. After just a few minutes I was BFF’d out and felt sorry for the guy. I think he forgot that he was only going to be her BFF until next season rolled around, at which point he would be easily expendable.

That moment reminded me of something my great grandfather Gabe said, “At the end of your life, if you can count on one hand 5 true friends, you are a lucky man.” I always thought that was interesting. And, I believe it is true. Can you count 5 people right now (not relatives) who would stop everything in their lives to help you out? They would call in sick to work, give you money never expecting it to be repaid, or fly across the country to be of help?

Now I have a bigger question. How many people would be able to count YOU as one of their top 5 friends on their hand? Who would you stop your life for in order to help?

Life is not about how many people will help us out in our time of need but about how many people can count on us in their time of need. If you can’t count 5 people on your hand then how could you? The best way to count 5 people on your hand is to make sure that at least 5 people will count you on theirs FIRST! Like all things worthwhile in this life, we have to give first in order to receive.

I am fortunate to have met such a role model. I recently made another trip to Story City, IA to celebrate the 65th wedding anniversary of Dick and Kay Munsen. One of their friends, Bill Craig, came all the way from New York City to celebrate with them. They pulled out the old slide show pictures one evening for a stroll down memory lane. In the pictures of Dick and Kay’s last son’s baptism, there was Bill Craig and his mother. And now, over 40 years later he was sitting with them again in their living room celebrating another milestone in their lives. He even paid for the entire family’s dinner (no small bill) earlier that evening as a way of saying, “You are special to me.” Do you still stay in touch with your friends from 5, 10 or even 15 years ago? Which friends will you be there for in 40 years?

It is a true blessing at the end of your life if you can count 5 true friends. It would be an even more meaningful life if you could count on all of your fingers and toes the people who would count you as one of their top 5 friends. And, a bonus would be to say that you always gave those relationships 100% of your heart and soul.

I suppose that is the difference between Paris Hilton and this season’s BFF. I would probably pick him as my new BFF over her. She is counting who her newest BFF’s is based on the pleasure he brings to her, while he gives everything that he has to build the relationship and give more than take. I think he is probably going to be richer than her in the long run, even if he is going to be replaced next season. I hope to be more like him as I move forward to develop and build all of my BFF relationships. As long as I keep giving my heart and soul for them to be able to count me on their fingers, I’m not as expendable or able to be replaced next season.

So, to all my BFF’s out there, call me if you want but I plan on staying in touch with you first! I will do my best to be in touch again soon. Remember to call me in your time of need, day or night and I trust you still are counting me on your fingers. Thank you for our many years of friendship and I look forward to many more. (even 40 years from now!)

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